Sit down, let's talk about the good times that never were... (from Saturday February 13, 2010)

That's a line from a song written by my late, great friend Mark. No I am not talking about myself. He was extremely talented, intelligent and perhaps knew me better than anyone else I have known. We lost touch about a year before he died. Had Facebook been around then, maybe we would not have lost touch at all.

Facebook is an interesting thing. It allows old friends to reconnect after years of separation due to, well...whatever. On the other hand it seems rather silly at times.

I have never gone to a high school reunion. I doubt I ever will. I didn't have many friends in high school. I was probably as close to the epitome of an outcast as could be found there, or nearly so. I have maintained contact in some manner or another with most of the people I would care to see again. My general thought is that 'if we didn't like each other 10 or 20 years ago why would I want to see them now?'

Of course the usual response is "People change." Some do change. Certainly the last 15 years have been a chore for me. I am a much different person now than I was then and it was hard work. There have been setbacks but overall I have made great progress.

Many people don't change as much as they should but more importantly, what difference does it make? There is a reason why the graduation ceremony is referred to as commencement. It is a new beginning. It is the end of life as a student and adolescent and the start of life as an adult. Time to move on. Right now there are more than 6 billion other people in the world who haven't yet had the opportunity to treat me like dirt. It hardly seems fair to concern myself with those of my youth.

Facebook sort of bridges the gap between reunions and staying in touch in the first place. There are but a few people from school with whom I have reconnected on that site. Most are family or people from workplaces of old that I liked but didn't necessarily hang around outside of work. There are a few from other aspects of life on there as well.

There have been a few who have sent me friend requests and I wondered why. Perhaps they forget more than I or maybe they were too self-absorbed to see their own behavior. In some cases I believe they use Facebook to support their egos. After all a larger list of friends means more popular right? Maybe they don't care if they ever communicate with all of them as long as the list is extensive (quality vs. quantity).

I use the "F" word a little more sparingly than do most people, I think. There are a lot of people out there I like. Many people I respect. But that is not enough. Perhaps there are trust issues involved here. Certainly I have known friendly people of insidious intent but I think there is more to it. Pleasant acquaintances can be very transient.

Maybe I just use the word friend as many people use the phrase "true friend". Of course that can help to segregate the honest from the insidious (fake friends?) but why even call the bad ones friends? I realize I tend to be a bit more harsh and concise with the language than most here. But I believe in honest designations.

I am glad Facebook was created. It has been good to learn of the whereabouts and fortunes af a few people, at least one of which I had experienced some real concern. It is a wonderful tool, and best of all you can control it. It is sort of like a reunion but you can decide who attends.

Maybe I'll see you soon on Facebook...no R.S.V.P. required.

ME